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I was thinking about marriage the other day, specifically mine and how blessed I am in this husband I have. 

You have to understand – I waited for the one God had for me and it was a mighty long wait.  I think twelve years is a long time, don’t you?  I have NO idea what took him so long to find me but he did take his sweet time (smile). 

I got to thinking about the adjustments people make right after they marry such as having to adjust to sharing a home together.  No matter how much they claim to be IN LOVE, there is that adjustment period – and I mean for the ones who don’t live together first, thank you very much. 

I remember when hubby and I first married.  The neatest thing happened.  First you have to understand that we only “dated” seven (7) weeks before we married.  Hey, we were in our early 40’s, OK?  Not that I would recommend that to anyone but it worked for us. 

We worked in the same large office.  Right after our weekend get-away (couldn’t do a honeymoon at that time… come to think of it, I haven’t had one yet – HEY! What’s up with that??).  Anyway, he immediately went on night shift for a month that next Monday (we married on Friday).  We were entering a period at our work place where everyone was going on overtime – 6 day 10 hour a day weeks.  He worked nights, I worked days and we passed one another on the road with mad hand waving in the mornings.  I saw him during the day on Sundays only.  

Back then, computers only had the 3.5 diskette drive (no e-mail).  We began writing notes and letters to one another and saving them to a diskette.  I would leave his at home and he would leave mine in my cubicle where only I could find it.  That way I could answer his note on my lunch break and he could answer mine once he woke up for the day.  He’d call me first so we could have a very short chat just to hear each other’s voices. 

So for our entire first month, we romanced one another via computer with long notes.  We asked questions.  We talked about our childhood.  We learned in-depth what each other felt, thought and our likes and dislikes.  It was a safety zone for me because I was nervous about marrying again (after all, he could turn out to be a closet axe murderer.  Then where would I be?).  

It was safe to share thoughts because there were no interruptions.  We asked for clarification when we didn’t understand something so there were no misunderstandings, either.  You tend to write without thought whereas when talking, you hesitate or think before you speak. 

It was the best thing that could ever have happened to us – perfect communication!  

Because of that month of intense letter writing, we got to know one another better than any sit-down time.  Why? Because when you are writing letters, you can share your entire heart without fear.  I was able to tell him things through letter writing that may have taken a long time in face-to-face talks.   

It was the basis of this incredible marriage and even after 13 years, I still remember that learning time.  And I still cherish his notes to this day.  He even saves every card I’ve ever given him.  Of course, I do, too.  Sometimes I take out the cards, letters and notes, and re-read them.  Then I get all mushy inside over him all over again! 

Joy is really communicating with your loved ones; really sharing what is in your heart.  Take some time today and write a letter or send a card with a note in it to your loved one, telling them how much they mean to you.  Mail it to them.  Re-capture memories about them that mean a lot to you and let them know.  Tell them what you love about them.  Focus on the joy-side.  

It’s worth it!