JOY-CAFE.COM JoyBlog

I was a full blown city-slicker for the longest time in my life.  As an adult, I rushed everywhere I went, on tight schedules with a cup of tea or coffee ever-present in my hand.  I never stopped and smelled roses, much less chicken manure (don’t ask - okay ask, but I’m saving it for another ramble).

I didn’t see my first (and last) cow up close and personal until I was 12 years old.  My country cousin was taking my brother and me down to a pond on his property.  I managed to get passed the cow after being frozen in place while it stared at me, to stand at the pond.  Everything was fine - until he mentioned snakes.  That was all she wrote.  I broke all time speed records leaving that cow pasture never to darken one again.

So the irony is that I married a rancher.  No, that is not true.  I married an electrical engineer who worked at the same nuclear plant I did.  I did not discover his dark side until a few years later when we were talking about unfulfilled dreams.  Oi-vay!

It seemed so unfair… until he whispered something into my ear that turned me into a “bona fied” rancher’s wife.  Unlimited access to yummy steak.

OK – I’m shallow – so sue me.

But that’s not what this ramble is about.  This ramble is about the art of slowing down.  I am discovering that most of my friends – probably all of them – are so strung out, un-rested, overworked, over-scheduled, over-committed, and overwrought.  They are tense, stressed, irritable, fight with their mates, and can’t sleep.  They have ulcers, stress, chest pains, headaches, and high blood pressure.  They run run run run run all the time.  They usually have to let something go in order to make it all fit – housework being the #1 choice of women everywhere (ho).

Ask me how I know this.  Go ahead, ask me.  Been ‘dere dun dat!

I began learning to slow down several years ago.  It wasn’t easy.  It feels like you’re cheating someone if you have time to stop and enjoy life.  I’d been working since I was 14 years old and did not know how to slow down.  I was scheduled to near death.  If one thing on my schedule went wrong, my entire schedule came down like a house of cards.  Then I was stressed.

But then I learned two things – the art of saying “NO” (and sticking to it no matter how much someone tried to manipulate me into saying yes) and that this is the only life we have.  There are no do-overs.  EVERY day is a precious and valuable gift just for you.  We should cherish and enjoy each and every day we have.

I am never ever again going to overextend myself for other people at the expense of my family, time or health.  I cut back on commitments and wasted time.  I cut people out of my life who were stressful and time-wasters.  Hubby and I shut off the television on weekdays years ago.  Except on weekends, we don’t watch TV and then its usually just movies.  I am working to organize my house so that it is a breeze to clean.  Why?  So I have more TIME to enjoy my life.

It was hard to cut out things but once I did – this amazing thing happened.  I relaxed.  I read.  I slept better at night.  I was happy, singing and dancing all over the house.  I laugned more and was sick less.  I began enjoying life to a depth heretofore never experienced.

I enjoyed the cat playing with my ankles while I hang clothes on a clothesline (I still miss that cat).  I enjoy the fresh air smell on my sheets at night.  I enjoy watching lazy bumblebees bopping around my flowers.  I enjoy sitting outside under my tree while I read.  I enjoy listening to the water splash in my fountain.  I enjoy the scent of honeysuckle wafting in the breeze.  I enjoy my new sunroom in all its glory.  I enjoy having time to read a book or magazine.  I enjoy time savoring a great cuppa tea.  I enjoy having time to enjoy this life God has given me.

I want to ask you something:  if you don’t slow down and enjoy where you are right now, when are you going to enjoy your life?  Where is it that you are rushing to that is so important that your today whizzes by on your way to that tomorrow?  Tomorrow never gets here – it is always TODAY.  Take time to enjoy it.  Why are you wasting it?

Speaking of which… I have something better to do now.   ..

I am very picky about my bed pillows.  They have to be just right and there is no in between.  It is either right or it isn’t.  Period.  No compromise.  Otherwise I wake up off and on all night, pounding, fluffing and poking the pillow.

Years ago – long before the dawn of time – my dad threw out two pillows.  They were very old; only dad knows how old they were.  I discovered them in the “to be trashed” pile and confiscated them.  They were the PERFECT pillows.  This was sometime in the 70’s and I loved those pillows.  They were some form of foam that wasn’t too hard or too soft.  They were perfect.

As time went by, I had to recover them a few times but I made sure no matter where I moved to, I had my perfect pillows.  They were the ONLY two I ever needed.  Put those other ones to the extra bedrooms, just don’t touch my perfect pillows.

So needless to say, my perfect pillows finally wore out – or should I say, crumbled and disintegrated.  Shoot, I’d say they were probably 25-30 years old by this time.  It was time for the ultimate new perfect pillow search.

Starting in the mid-1990’s, I began this perfect pillow search. I slept on some so-so ones while searching. I tried foam, foam balls, foam substitute, foam mock, faux foam, hard foam, soft foam, creepy foam - bleh. I tried stacking pillows on top of one another. I tried memory foam - too soft or too hard. I don’t know who’s memory they were trying to keep, but it sure wasn’t mine!

I tried down, down and feather, down alternative, double down, down and polyester combo, circle of down, and the down of doom. OK, maybe not that last one, but it began to seem that way. I would start out thinking, “This is a GREAT pillow” and within a month, the pillow would either be too hard or so soft it was like sleeping straight on the mattress.

It got so bad my husband began to notice there were pillows all over the place.  Oh, it wasn’t as bad as he let on, but there were several trial and error pillows for awhile there.  Every time a new pillow entered the house, I’d hear this groan and, “Just how many pillows are you going to buy?”

This is coming from a man who is still using one of the two pillows he brought into our marriage – and it was old and discolored way back then - 14 years ago.  What does he know about perfect pillows?

So here I am, sleeping on a down pillow that I have to crumple and fold to get just right.  It is aggravating because it isn’t a king sized pillow.  But I was going to put up with it.  I figured this was as good as it got.

Then it happened.  Last week, I wandered into a TJ Maxx store and saw this weird pillow, a gel fiber pillow.  Gel fibers?  Microdenier Gel Polyester Fiberfill.  I poked it and it felt like down yet fluffed right back up.  I looked around to see if anyone was looking and sort of tried to lay my head on it to test it - it felt pretty good.  Of course after all the pillows I’ve been through in the past 10 years or so, I wasn’t that optimistic.

I bought one and brought it home.  After a week, I knew!  THIS WAS IT.  I had finally found the perfect combination of soft, fluffy, and cushion.  I was in hog heaven (see Ramble on Chaise at www.joy-cafe.com in Archives to understand hog-heaven)!!  I was kicking myself for not buying the other two but there it is – if this pillow was awful, it would have been OK.  I did go back and pick up one more and discovered you can find gel fiber pillows at Amazon – if I get desperate in the future.

It’s been about a long hunt – but by golly, I found the perfect pillow.  Now begins the pillow exodus.  I’ve gotten rid of several pillows over the years but still have my expensive hold-outs.  I decided to make hubby happy and get rid of the excess.  I set aside 2-3 for Salvation Army and sent five of them over to my son’s girlfriend.  She’s on a hunt for the perfect pillow and can’t find one.  Hopefully one of these lovely down ones will work for her!  If not, there is one foam one that might work.  Otherwise, she’s on her own.  I found mine and I’m not sharing!!  It’s every woman for herself!

JOY is finally finding the perfect pillow, no matter how many years it takes.  I am joyful!!!

When the lights go out, you learn who you really are inside.  Are you strong?  Are you brave?  Are you ready to take on the world and conquer this problem head on?  Or are you…

Whiny.

I am whiny.  Whine, whine, whine.  I discovered that I am so spoiled rotten to modern conveniences that I reach for them automatically.  Who-da thunk it.

I mean, I lived “off the land” back in the 70’s like any self respecting former faux hippie-type person.  I’ve heated and cooked by woodstove.  I’ve had to haul water when the pipes froze.  I’ve been several days without electricity and burned up all my expensive candles.  I have had other amazing and interesting hope never to repeat back-to-nature adventures I’d never have dreamed of experiencing since I’m a city-slicker at heart.

Yes, I can split wood with the best of them – not that I really want to ever, ever again.

So when the recent high wind storms hit us and the lights went out, I was prepared.  Candles?  Check.  Batteries?  Check.  Flashlights?  Check. Oil and oil-filled lamps?  Check.  Wood for the fireplace?  Check.  Goose down comforter for warmth in the evening?  Check.  Ability to heat my tea water and cook on the propane gas grill?  Check.  Able to live without the microwave?  Scratch.

Man.  You don’t realize how addicted to the microwave you are until you can’t use it.  I can’t tell you how many times I either reached up to use it, or thought about using it since we didn’t have electricity to power the electric stove.

When the lights went out, I had clothes in the washer ready for the dryer – they had to wait and that didn’t bother me.

When the lights went out, I had clothes in the dryer in the middle of a drying cycle – they had to wait and that didn’t bother me.

When the lights went out, I had dishes in the sink waiting to be washed from breakfast – they had to wait and that didn’t bother me.

I had a refrigerator defrosting, a freezer we kept an eye on, and chilly nights – none of that bothered me.

Reaching up to the microwave to reheat some tea and having that “duh” moment – that bothered me.  Thinking I’d heat up some broccoli for lunch and duh! – that bothered me.

I missed my microwave – a lot.  I’m so attached that if they ask the question, “If you could only take one thing with you on a deserted island” I’d say, “Microwave!”  Yeah, yeah, I know – no electricity.

Although it was a peaceful (and romantic) time sitting around by candlelight in front of the fireplace with hubby, as soon as the lights popped on I rushed into the kitchen to heat up some water in the microwave.

Man, I’m addicted.

Maybe I need help!  But I sure enJOY my life – and microwave!

How about you?  What do you miss when the lights go out?